NOT THIS AGAIN, I think as I sit in the cafeteria feeling dejected. All of my friends left me-- well rather ditched me. The day had started out just fine I was happily joking around with my two best friends who we will call B and J! "I have to go to my locker" I said and I left them talking about something I had no clue about. I don't have many classes with them so at mid morning when we have PE they sort of just snuff me over. "Hi guys" I say. No response. "Ehem-- are you guys okay?"... Nothing. My palms start to sweat so I just leave them alone thinking they need some space. After my PE teacher explains what we will be doing that day, we start during the running session my two friends come up to me and say "Hi ,did you notice blah,blah,blah,blah!" I don't respond if they were ignoring me why should I respond now? "Why don't you talk?" one of them says after twenty minutes of awkward silence "Takes up too much energy" I say, knowing full well it doesn't.
I run ahead leaving them at the fifth lap me on my seventh. After we finish the run, we have to pair partners and I had forgotten I was mad at them so when I go up to them, they say "Oh, she's talking again...we've TOTALLY forgotten about you." B says. "Why don't you pair up with her?" she adds pointing to an empty space in the field. "Okay fine, let's just make a group of three" says J. I spend the rest of the period trying NOT to be decapitated by the frisbee. By the end of the hour, I'm infuriated by the fact that every time I'd get hit by the frisbee, my friends would giggle. I'm SO glad that for the next two periods both of "my friends" are not in my class .
The two periods seem to drag on for hours. By the time the lunch bell rings I'm already at the door. I am abruptly put on hold when my friend D asks me for my History notes. "I'm so hungry I think I have to go" I tell her after ten minutes. Then I stand in line for another ten minutes to get my lunch that consists of bread, mustard and ice. I look for my friends in the cafeteria. "Hey guys," I say "Yeah... " says J. I sit down "Did you guys look for me?" "No" they both respond at the same exact time. That offends me ... do true friends do this kind of thing? I wonder... then they just walk off not saying anything. I follow them feeling a bit unwanted. When they go into the bathroom I did the same even though I don't really need to . Oh well. Suddenly I hear the bathroom door to the outside close...They left me. That is the last straw!!!
When History class rolls around I'm so dazed in own my misery that I don't notice that my teacher has called on me. She walks up to my paper and asks me why I'm writing so small . Easy, I want to tell her because I feel small. I don't know if that make sense but ... I shrug it off, and she walks away looking at other students papers. I shrink back in my seat.
The next day at school I feel smaller than ever when B comes up and says" I know you're mad you're not like this STOP!" She tells me. I say "I don't want to talk" I try to walk away but she blocks me from doing so. By lunch time I feel so light headed and drowsy I want to cry. "Hey, sit over here" says E., my BFF last year whom I don't talk to much because we don't have many classes together. She makes room for me on her table and gives me some of her crackers "Is everything alright?" she asks. "No, my friends ditched me." "Oh forget them you have me!" she gives me a hug. Sierra and Sophia my other friends from last year make me feel welcome as well, they give me a cupcake just because... My new OLD friends are very loyal and I love them!
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My comments: I think it 's hard enough to sort out and navigate the challenging and confusing ways of the world, as a "tween" or "teenager" -- raging hormones, defining identity, weaning their way out of the nest's fold but not really wanting that -- save for the collective drive of their peers. It is good to check in on our kids -- NO MATTER WHAT AGE! I heard a very respectable high school teacher once said, that despite their towering heights and seeming need for space and independence, what our youth needs among other things, is for someone to tell them, they are loved...and that they are doing an AWESOME job! Include a hug and a kiss while you're at it...Here's to all the "tweens" and"teenagers"!!!
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